Move Over, The House Is Honking

There was a purpose of the Tata Nano, besides the obvious monetary gains. What was the first probable thought that crossed your mind when you heard of it? Ah, there’s a small little appliance which was needed in times of blind eyed dumbfounded pedestrians crossing, newly discovered craters and the odd excavations. Something that would free the air of congestion so you could probably smoke some more to that smog deprived lungs. A green car in maybe bright yellow, to cool the infernal summer days. What a pleasant little thought and small little prayer for the Tata’s. A small car with a halo. That was always the answer.

Now, in lieu of this new found enlightenment, the real question is, why on earth would you want a Toyota Innova? That is if you are not a Mr. Hilton or Mr. Marriot, of course, to ferry across truckloads of clients and customers. Otherwise I do not see the point of it.

If you are looking for a big car - and when I say big I imply that you are trying to say that you may be a geek with no resources or lateral thinking to work on it so you might as well meander in something really large to hide your inconspicuousness –then why won’t you go for the Lexus LX 40, Toyota Land Cruiser Prado or even an eye candy; the Range Rover, or even better maybe look up a car magazine. Why go around in an upgraded hearse? You are not doing really well to hide your ugliness you know.

7 Seats did I hear. Never, and I mean Never, have I seen this yatch-on-wheels at full capacity. This is even when it has a red ‘T’ within a circle branded on its rump. It has the turning radius of a planetary orbit. They say it is an MPV. I could find another use for it. Road blocks or maybe a speed bump for a Hummer. And please do not vouch for practicality. Because if you are practical, then please by all means by a Van. It can sardine more people in and they will also be place for a small rocket launcher, should you choose to start the Mumbai riots again. And if you are looking to curb your costs, maybe you should have stopped reading after the first paragraph.

Yes. I know that other cars do have imbecile drivers which may conjure up the similar results. But let me put it this way. In a Lexus LX40, with its high mounted drivers position, you look up to them, literally. You hit the road and think “Ah! It is a Lexus making a U-Turn” whereas the Innova “Uh! Are they setting up a road block? Is the city in any trouble?” I mean it is a 7 seater but there is only one inhabitant, the driver. That is a field day for an environmentalist. He might as well travel in a Vietnamese moped. Honest, how many times have you seen this at full capacity? And I mean all 7 seats.

Give yourself a week. Notice all the Innovas you do on the road. Check how many of them have disrupted your already miserable point A to B trip and for how many people was it worth in that piece of junk.

And what should do you do about it? Do what I do. Just loathe at the sight of it.

I Am On The Verge Of Death

It is mighty hard to summarize and quantify something that has been lost. It is like death, where your whole and content life passes in front of your eyes in a fleeting second. Except that these are not seconds but weeks or months. It is like the dawn of a new day, except that you had been up whole night lying in a dream only to realize that you have to close your eyes and face the ironical darkness of reality. You are therefore blind as the sun embarks on a journey showing the path to the other half of the planet.

You vouch just for a smile; actually a hint of one would suffice. That valorous turn of the head, eyes searching for your existence validating your existence. The touch that makes you feel a sense of reality that you are very close to the intangible.

It was not a dream but you are now very sleepy. And even if the next few hours may lie in the disdainful comfort of the mattress, with a promise of the same dose of reality during those lifeless and pitiless hours, it may be considered that have just woken up and have got to go to work.

This is not a Shakespearean propaganda of the ill fated, promised to meet his maker. This is not a discouraging discourse of a dissertation of a disappointment. This is not the mating call of a lost African mammal. I am therefore not a depressed homosexual Victorian poet high on cocaine. These are just words from corpse flying in the air with the flies that enjoy it.

A Contribution Of The Unemployed

There has been enough political banter over the rising cost of, I don’t know, everything. The economy is another keyhole for the peeping toms of politics and inflation is the naked wife in the bed of your worst enemy.

Don’t get me wrong, I have absolute faith in the resolve of the administrators of the country. There is the reformist Manmohan Singh, Mr. Finance P Chidambaram and the likes of I-most-definitely-have-a-plan-to-get-everything-right Montek Singh Ahluwalia, who in my book, are the right technocrats for the right country.

Over the last few years, or even the last few months, we have had a bullish trend in the stock market, a booming service sector and the richest men in the world trying to suck other nations dry in the name of globalization. They have laid some tracks for a runaway train. But the question is where is it heading?

I do not see any aim in the growth that we are insipidly coming across. Why? There are still farmers despondent and stuck in a tunnel with no signs of a low watt bulb. The evils of democracy do not measure that there are only pockets of development. What for an instance would curb consumption? Consumption is like the plague which consumes your precious and hard earned money into the capitalistic grinding machine. In the pre-liberalisation era income was low, so were savings and so were investments. Although most of the savings did not supply the banking system, but were mostly found in the digestive systems of the cupboard drawers.

Then there was education. Most of the population, 10-15 years back, between ages 18-25, were keeping themselves literate as a form of investment. Not only this investment has blossomed but also the same age group today has found itself employed. It’s of course not their fault that they had an opportunity, but is the same money they earn is spent on further economic investments you suppose? No.

Would it be largely possible, a neurotic brain that links liquor with urination, Nike with Michael Jordan’s leaps, utilizes them in a sport that involves two minutes for a delivery only to find the batsman timidly defending it, that he thinks that the money that he earns leads to a summarized decisions in the private sector. Honestly, the monetary and fiscal policies are not going to change this, just as the fattest democracy in the world has displayed all its shortcomings but for a strange and vivid reason, it has worked. The economy is not going to be in shambles for the next decade and we can be all fat, greasy and obese and obtuse in the head like how the Americans are. We have our DLF Premier League and we shall never lose our politics.

Those are my two paise. Hope it doesn’t contribute to the increasing money supply.